During the 2015 fantasy football season, I’d occasionally tune into my local sports radio station. It ran a fifteen-minute fantasy segment every Thursday, in which the hosts of the afternoon show dished out DFS advice, hot takes, and plenty of narrative-driven analysis. Pretty much every segment left me shaking my head, but for some reason I felt compelled to listen. If I had a dollar for every time I heard the phrases bounce back, due for a big game and he can’t keep it up for a third straight week, I’d be typing this on a shiny new laptop.