LamarMiller

Since the season started I’ve done Tuesday rundowns of all the NFL backfield situations. I’m doing the same thing this week. Also, since I’m not omniscient, check out RotoViz’s Buy Low Machine and RB GLSP Projections. Here we go.

Dolphins RBs
If you picked Lamar Miller over Daniel Thomas in Week 8, you were wrong. If you picked Thomas over Miller, you were wrong. In standard leagues, they both scored exactly 11.2 pts. No matter which one you choose, if you’re picking one of these guys on a weekly basis, you’re probably wrong.

Cowboys RBs
Joseph Randle isn’t DeMarco Murray isn’t Emmitt Smith. Then again, Phillip Tanner and Lance Dunbar arn’t Randle. And neither is Randle. Know what I mean?

Lions RBs
Reggie Bush has RB3 downside and RB1 upside. He’s an automatic start. We tried to tell you he’d be good. We tried here, here, here, and here. Joique Bell? We told you to target him; we told you a couple of times. He’s not always startable, but he may be one of the greatest desperation PPR flex plays of all time.

Browns RBs
Willis McGahee and Chris Ogbonnaya were just collectively outproduced by an RB who’s been with the team for less than a month and didn’t manage a single carry in Week 8. You’d be better off starting Jim Brown or Dion Lewis.

Chiefs RBs
2013: Jamaal Charles. 2003: Priest Holmes. 1993: Marcus Allen. In 10 years, I expect to see another awesome Chiefs RB whose team fails to win a championship. Maybe Barry Sanders Jr. 8-0 is cheap, except in fantasy leagues. And, yes, I know that 40% of the teams that start 8-0 historically win Super Bowls. I don’t care.

Patriots RBs
Stevan Ridley scored a Week 8 TD, but he yet again didn’t own the backfield. As long as Shane Vereen is on the short-term IR, Brandon Bolden has some flex appeal (because of his versatility). I admit that I have no idea what’s going on with this backfield, but I know that LeGarrette Blount sucks. If Ridley becomes consistent, he has the highest upside of the 3 healthy runners—and he’s becoming consistent.

Bills RBs
Fred Jackson: Which is the pattern?—the double-digit performances in Weeks 1-5 and 7-8?—or the single-digit submission in Week 6? His mere 11.3 pts in Week 8 probably don’t excite you much, but I don’t give a f*ck. You drafted him late; if you have Fred Jackson, you’re probably winning lots of games.

Saints RBs
For the first time in 3 weeks, Mark Ingram wasn’t outscored by Travaris Cadet, and, yes, neither one of them played in Week 8. The bad news? Mark Ingram “almost” outscored Darren Sproles.

Giants RBs
Michael Cox: I dreamed a dreamand now life has killed the dream I dreamed. Cox certainly will not be a 2013 Wire Waiver Wonder. Better luck next year. Peyton Hillis, Brandon Jacobs, Andre Brown, and David Wilson? I didn’t dream that dream, and I hope you didn’t either.

Eagles RBs
I thought Week 7 would be LeSean McCoy’s 2013 low point. And now I think that low point will be Week 8. I wonder what I’ll be saying after Week 9.

49ers RBs
Through 8 weeks, Frank Gore has 7 double-digit performances. The single-digit performance? At Seattle in Week 2. If you started him that week, that’s on you, not him. He’s the same ol’ old Frank Gore.

Jaguars RBs
I lost in Week 8 to a dude who started Maurice Jones-Drew. How was your weekend? In other news, I used to believe in Jordan Todman. Now, I don’t believe in anything—except my fantasy ineptness.

Panthers RBs
Then again, I can’t totally suck, because I did say 2 months ago that Mike Tolbert would be a Waiver Wire Wonder. After being ignored by his offense in Week 1, the big guy has averaged 9.1 standard pts/game. He’s not an RB1, but he’s a solid and cheap flex option. And, if you threatened me with the legal repercussions of perjury, I guess I’d have to say that DeAngelo Williams is a decent flex option too.

Bengals RBs
The Bengals don’t need to run the ball because Andy Dalton has morphed into f*cking 2007 Tom Brady. By the way, I also lost in Week 8 to a dude who started Dalton. It’s a very, very mad world.

Buccaneers RBs
In Week 8, Mike James looked exactly like Doug Martin. Is that good?

Jets RBs
Week 8 made me want to vomit on half a season’s worth of vomit. In other news, Alex Green saw his first touches of the season. Shawn Siegele thinks that Green doesn’t suck. I think so too.

Steelers RBs
Le’Veon Bell: He didn’t look good, but he got the job done this weekend. Kind of like your mother.

Raiders RBs
Darren McFadden is on the Raiders. Sometimes he plays on the Raiders. When he plays, sometimes he’s good.

Redskins RBs
Alfred Morris continues to straddle the line between perfunctory and satisfactory. He provides an average of double-digit production each week, but his 20-pt games seem to belong to the past. At least Roy Helu didn’t steal any more of ALF’s TDs.

Broncos RBs
Knowshon Moreno is the Dr. Evil of RBs.

Falcons RBs
Steven Jackson’s decline makes me feel sorry for Matt Ryan. And myself. And I suppose people who take my fantasy advice.

Cardinals RBs
I think that people who rely on Andre Ellington are like the guy who dates the crazy hot chick. If you don’t know what I mean, you probably 1) have Ellington on your roster, 2) win lots of games, and 3) need to date a crazy hot chick for a few weeks.

Seahawks RBs
Marshawn Lynch: He’s either a buy, a sell, or a hold. You’re welcome.

Rams RBs
Zac Stacy is the heaviest RB on the St. Louis roster. Jeff Fisher likes larger RBs, and despite being only 5’8” Stacy isn’t a small runner. If he can grind out over 120 yards against Seattle’s defense, he can do the same against any defense. Keep an eye on his injured ankle, but from now on he might just be a must-start RB2.

Packers RBs
Eddie Lacy has top-10 potential. Johnathan Franklin and James Starks have top-110 potential.

Vikings RBs
Adrian Peterson sucked with Josh Freeman as his QB in Week 7, and he didn’t suck with Christian Ponder in Week 8. With either guy, the Vikings will lose games, but if they can lose while keeping their RB looking good, that’s the preferable option. Never did I think I would say, “Peterson’s value is tied to Ponder—he needs Ponder,” but I guess that’s what I just did.

Texans RBs
Dennis Johnson, Deji Karim, and Ray Graham were all signed by the Texans this last weekend, during their bye week. Didn’t the coaching staff see enough of these guys in the preseason to determine the extent to which they all suck?

Chargers RBs
It’s a weird season for RBs when you look at your roster and think, “Damn, this week I really could’ve used Danny Woodhead or maybe even Ryan Mathews.” By the way, for at least Weeks 1-8, I was right.

Colts RBs
Trent Richardson was on bye in Week 8. Let me ask you a question: Did you actually miss him?

Interested in WRs? Here’s my Week 8 WR Report.

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