Welcome back, dear reader.
Ah, your season is over. You look back and count your mistakes. You start gearing up for the 2017 draft, even though Nick Chubb and Royce Freeman are no longer going to be a part of it. Ugh. You’re depressed, now. Denny Carter starts making sense. And yet, shimmering in the
I went to San Diego State University, so I’m always calling him “Steve” Fisher in my head. Charlie Kleinheksel has had to fix it for me once or twice; sometimes I don’t catch it myself.
[Like so many wild horses, spoilers roam freely here. If such unpleasant business gets you a bit namby-pamby, kindly skedaddle and thanks for the click.]
We in the cult of Christine Michael will take advantage of almost any opportunity to talk about him. But, he already had his own special edition of the Freedman Report after Week 3, so I’m going to make sure I cover some of the other happenings from Week 10.
Earlier this week, I wasted minutes of my life photoshopping Hillary’s head onto Christine Michael’s body. You know the one; the star-spangled jumpsuit, gold chains, and mismatched designer sneakers. It wasn’t my best work, but neither is this column. Time for some jokes.
To quote basically everyone, I was “on BYE” last week. I can’t believe I didn’t think of that on my own. Well-rested though I am, it’s also probably going to be the cleverest joke this week. Welcome to the Freedman Report: Expect nothing; get less.
Man, I can’t believe the Chargers won. It’s been a non-stop celebration since last Thursday. I’m not even sure I remember any of the games except that one. But, as Maggie says, “You don’t even need to watch the games to write this column. Nothing needs to happen at all.”
Hey, about last week: Sorry for misleading you guys with promises of hilarious rap references. I was just lying to impress you.
Last week, savvy readers realized that I had spelled “Christine Michael” with the first letter of each heading. That’s why I listed “Indianapolis Colts” three times. This week, I am so zonked out on cold medication that the most interesting thing I’ll probably do is reference last weeks’ easter