Football

This Week In Hyperbole: Marshawn Lynch Isn’t Worth The Distraction

This is a weekly article focusing on hyperbole and (over)reactions to the latest NFL news.  
Days since the combine ended: 32 Days since free agency opened: 29 Days until the NFL draft: 20 Days until the first preseason game: 119 Days until Week 1 kickoff: TBD

MARSHAWN LYNCH IS BENJAMIN BUTTON

Marshawn Lynch has reportedly informed the Oakland Raiders that he plans to un-retire. It’s particularly impressive considering he’s been under contract with the Seahawks, and not officially retired, but I digress… If Helen of Troy’s face launched a thousand ships, then Lynch’s potential un-retirement can be said to have launched a thousand dueling takes. Here are some of my favorite paradoxes:

LYNCH WILL BE AWESOME AND THE RAIDERS WILL WIN THE SUPER BOWL. ALSO, HE DOESN’T HELP THEM AT ALL.

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By 14Team Mocker | @14TeamMocker | Archive

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