Advice

Diary of High-Stakes Virgins: Breshad Perriman DGAF Edition

When we first signed up for the FFPC Main Event three months ago, all of our hopes and dreams were in tact. First, we’d win our league. Then we’d win the $250,000 grand prize. We’d document our road to glory via the podcast. Our story would capture the hearts and minds of America. The media would hound us for interviews, like a couple of modern day Ken Bone’s (before it was revealed he was a skeevy reddit user). We’d go on ‘Live with Kelly’ and tell her about Zero RB. The President would invite us and Amari Cooper to the White House for a dinner… It all seemed so attainable, so realistic. And yet here we are after five weeks. Our team is 1-4. We have the third fewest points in our 12-team division. The best running back on our roster is arguably Jalen Richard. The days of Stefon Diggs putting the team on his back are but a distant memory. Our championship aspirations are crushed. Kelly Ripa isn’t calling. We can barely even muster the energy to submit our waiver claims. We are sad, broken men.

Subscribe to the best value in fantasy sports

Subscribing is the only way to make sure you don't ever miss an article.

By Peter Overzet | @peteroverzet | Archive