Top 10 Reasons Why I’m Ready for the Draft
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I’m about to bring you the most innovative epiphany of the offseason. It’s so good that you’re going to drop whatever it is you’re doing and read this in its entirety without even taking a breath. Every so often we need to take a step back and view ourselves from the outside looking in. I’ve taken our fantasy offseason, shrunken it down, and stuffed it into a snow globe filled with complete and utter parody. You and I both know what we do is borderline laughable for anyone peering into our world from the outside. It’s the Sultan of Swat — the Colossus of Clout — the Great Bambino! Ehh, who am I kidding? But it is the motherlode trolling Top 10 List for your viewing pleasure that just might help you finish the job while you’re cursing the Porcelain Gods after your late night Taco Bell run. And curse you, Taco Bell, for removing the Volcano Burrito from your menu. I said good day, sir!