For the last few months I’ve done Tuesday rundowns of all the wideout situations. I’m doing the same thing this week. Also, since I’m not omniscient, check out RotoViz’s Buy Low Machine and WR GLSP Projections. Here we go.

Browns WRs
F*ck it. I’ll say it: Who would you rather have right now? Josh Gordon or Megatron? I don’t know if this is a trade that owners of either player could even bring themselves to make right now. On the season, Fantasy Dirk Gordon is averaging 17.7 pts/game played. Megatron? 17.1 pts/g. Gordon is 22 years old. Megatron is 28. Gordon is one incident away from a year-long NFL suspension. Calvin Johnson is known as a standup guy beloved by all. One has submitted only a single (albeit brilliant) potentially “third-year Braylon Edwards-esque” season of dominance; the other has proven over the last half decade that his second-year top-three success was not a fluke.

Seriously, not just in dynasty but also maybe even in redraft, who would you rather have right now? Josh Gordon or Megatron? That question might sound crazy, but just 10 weeks ago in my first WR Report I asked the same question about Gordon and A.J. Green. It seemed crazy at the time. Now? Not so crazy.

Bengals WRs
A.J. Green’s top-10 awesomeness is so steady that it bores me. I’m trying not to dislike him for not being the other guy.

Panthers WRs
Week 14 is what happens when you surround Cam Newton with mediocrity. Marvin McNutt awaits.

Saints WRs
Perhaps I’ve been harsh on Marques Colston—just as he’s been with you all season. One blow-up performance to help you advance in your consolation bracket doesn’t change that.

Washington WRs
Normally I’d be happy about A-Rob leading his team in WR points—but Week 14 was rough.

Vikings WRs
It was only a matter of time before Cordarrelle Patterson went off. I don’t know how much more we can expect this year, but over his career we should expect at least some WR3 seasons. In other words, I don’t think C-Pat is Stephen Hill. I like him. Perhaps I like him against reason, and I admit that some of his comparables aren’t great—but I still like him. By the way, I hate the nickname “C-Pat.” I feel like I’m talking about some B-List movie star.

Jets WRs
Last week I said this: “In Week 13, Stephen Hill caught 1 pass on 4 targets for 2 yards. Given Weeks 11-12, that’s improvement.” It’s also an improvement when he’s not targeted at all.

Raiders WRs
In a three-way street brawl between the Dudes Holmes, I think John would win, but Andre might do better than the third guy. Really, who would you rather have right now? Andre Holmes or Santonio Holmes?

Buccaneers WRs
I know someone who started Tiquan Underwood in Week 14. Intentionally. With Rod Streater on his bench. But at least he didn’t flex an injured Reggie Bush. Wait. He did. #SuckItDynastyNemesis

Lions WRs
In Week 14, the highest-scoring Lions WR was a guy who touched the ball only as a kick and punt returner.

Bills WRs
Do you remember the days when you thought Steve Johnson was a smart under-the-radar WR3 play? That was only 10 weeks ago. Time flies? Think again. Time dies.

Eagles WRs
In almost every fantasy league known to man, Riley Cooper sits on a bench, wondering what else he has to do to let you know he’s better ROS than T.Y. Hilton.

Colts WRs
I have some explaining to do: Last week I suggested that the rest of the season would be difficult for the Colts WRs. Specifically, I was thinking about T.Y. Hilton. About LaVon Brazill, let me say this: Given that I worship at the Altar of the Wide Receiver Whisperer, LaVon has intrigued me since last year. My favorite dynasty team is currently named “LeSean, LaVon, Le’Veon, and Lar,” so, yeah, I like the guy’s dynasty prospects.

And what about Da’Rick Rogers? In April, I wrote a hate piece on Rogers—but when the Colts signed him to their practice squad in September I took serious notice, because Rogers has elite athleticism and I believe that Andrew Luck will eventually be able to make good WRs look great, and with Reggie Wayne aging and Darrius Heyward-Bey sucking I think one of those future WRs could be Rogers. I believe in Luck’s future so much that I even rostered Griff Whalen in some dynasty leagues until the Colts cut him. Basically, I think of Rogers as a smaller yet-to-emerge Josh Gordon—same style of player, same style of problems. On the aforementioned dynasty team, I roster all of T.Y., LaVon, and Da’Rick. With Luck as their QB, I believe. They are the cheap alternative to Cobb, Nelson, and Jones/Boykin—and they could eventually be better.

Packers WRs
To be clear: I really like Randall Cobb, Jordy Nelson, and whoever is the third WR next year, whether he’s James Jones or Jarrett Boykin. I’m betting on Boykin.

Falcons WRs
When the Ghost of Old King Hamlet returns in Act III, he’s not nearly as imposing as he was in Act I.

Patriots WRs
Mysteriously, King Lear’s fool just vanishes after Act III, never appearing in the play again. In Week 14, King Lear lost his fool. Fortunately for him, Kent (State’s former QB) is still alive.

Ravens WRs
This was the Torrey Smith season I wasn’t expecting.

Chiefs WRs
Since getting owned by Joe Haden in Week 8, Fantasy Voldemort is averaging 9.6 standard pts/g. Over that time, the Chiefs have a sub-.500 record. If you gave Dwayne Bowe the option of accumulating good stats or having a good team record, I think he’d choose the stats. The same is probably true of most NFL players—but none of them seem to embody it the way Bowe does.

Cardinals WRs
For instance, I think Larry Fitzgerald would choose team success over stats. Of course, when your entire team bends over backwards to get you stats, it’s easy to pretend that you care only about winning.

Jaguars WRs
Here’s what I said last week: “He [Cecil Shorts] may never score 10 TDs in a season, but he’s better than a guy who scores just 2.” His yardage wasn’t great in Week 14, but his 3rd TD of the season was most welcome. He’s a dynasty buy-low candidate.

Titans WRs
The Little Blue Engine That Didn’t.

Broncos WRs
But can Peyton Manning play in the cold and the snow?

Rams WRs
Stedman Bailey is starting to see some sustained action. I wish he were faster, but Mario Manningham wasn’t all that fast either coming into the league. I think they’re pretty similar.

Giants WRs
Victor Cruz has managed only one double-digit performance since Week 4—the last time he scored a TD.

Chargers WRs
I’ll say it again: The biggest mistake I made in the 2013 offseason was not seeing the extent to which Keenan Allen in fact did fit satisfy the criteria I have for drafting rookie WRs in dynasty.

Seahawks WRs
It’s hard to get excited about Golden Tate and Doug Baldwin on the road in SF.

49ers WRs
I wouldn’t want Anquan Boldin in my lineup, but if I had to play against you in Week 16 then I also wouldn’t want him in your lineup as he plays ATL at home.

Texans WRs
Andre Johnson is Anquan Boldin on steroids. Revlis Football was right.

Steelers WRs
Antonio Brown: WR2 floor. Top-5 WR ceiling. In Week 14, we got close to the ceiling.

Dolphins WRs
Mike, this is Ike. Have you guys met?

Cowboys WRs
In Week 14, the Cowboys targeted Dez Bryant an average of once per quarter. That’s just what you do with your best player in a game you eventually lose 28-45.

Bears WRs
I’m about to go on a rant that has nothing to do with the Bears WRs. If you want to stop reading now before you fall out of love with me, feel free.

One of the coolest things to happen in college football in the last two weeks has been the emergence of Florida State’s big-bodied redshirt sophomore WR Kelvin Benjamin. I look at him, and I see the next Brandon Marshall or Alshon Jeffery. I love his game—but I’ve hated every second of his recent success, because I think that the QB getting credit for those completed passes most likely got away with rape and will soon be rewarded with a Heisman Trophy merely because he wasn’t charged with a crime, as if that makes whatever did happen acceptable. Whenever Benjamin enters the NFL, I’ll try like crazy to get him on my dynasty teams—because I sorely regret missing out on Alshon. But one guy who will never be on any fantasy team of mine is Shameis Winston. Never—at least not until he pulls a Michael Vick, apologizes publicly for behaving in a deplorable manner, and dedicates a portion of his time to atoning for his actions. I’ve managed to win championships without rostering Ben Rapistburger, and I’ll do the same with Shameis. It’s just a game—but that doesn’t mean we should ignore what these guys do in real life, and I’m not the kind of person who roots for unconvicted rapists to have career success. I hope you aren’t either. Oh, by the way, Marshall and Alshon are awesome.

Interested in RBs? Here’s my Week 14 RB Report.

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