The Wideout Report: Week 13, Josh Gordon, and the Ghost of Old King Hamlet


For the last couple of months or so I’ve done Tuesday rundowns of all the wideout situations. I’m doing the same thing this week. Also, since I’m not omniscient, check out RotoViz’s Buy Low Machine and WR GLSP Projections. Here we go.

Browns WRs
Having Josh Gordon on the majority of my fantasy teams actually makes feel like I have a bigger penis. What he’s done in his second season is outright Calvin-esque. To me, Gordon is Fantasy Dirk Diggler: “I think heaven has sent you here, Dirk Diggler. I think the angels have blessed us all because of you.” In two of the most important weeks of the season, Dirk Gordon ensured victory for almost all his teams. On the season, Megatron is averaging 16.7 pts/game played. Josh Diggler is averaging 17.0 pts/g, the most among all WRs. Minus two games, he’s been to 2013 what Arian Foster was to 2010. If he can avoid trouble, very little exists to prevent him from cementing his status as a yearly high-end WR1. That’s a big “if.”

And for old times’ sake: Who would you rather have right now? Josh Gordon or A.J. Green? Asking that question right now doesn’t seem fair.

Bengals WRs
If you think that Andy Dalton’s holding A.J. Green back, what kind of QB do you think Brandon Weeden is?

Bears WRs
If you don’t have Gordon on your team, Alshon Jeffery is a great consolation prize. Whatever his dynasty stock is doing, it’s not high enough.

Cardinals WRs
Since Week 1, Fitz has scored 9.2 pts/g. Floyd? 9.3. It’s a cherry-picked sampling—but sometimes picking cherries is useful. Floyd is the Alshon to Fitz’s Marshall.

Buccaneers WRs
Last week I thought that Fitz was the Chris Johnson of WRs. This week, I think it’s Vincent Jackson. By the way, Chris Owusu actually saw three targets in Week 13. I don’t know why I care.

Jaguars WRs
Cecil Shorts got his 2nd TD of the season in Week 13. Even in what seems like a down year, Shorts is pacing for more yards in 2013 than he had in 2012. He may never score 10 TDs in a season, but he’s better than a guy who scores just 2. He’s a dynasty buy-low candidate.

Titans WRs
Once again, the Little Blue Engine That Could delivered WR3 production. Since Week 1, Kendall Wright has scored fewer than 6 pts only once. As a point of comparison, Shorts has scored 8.0 pts/g (if you exclude the game he left early with an injury). Without missing any 2013 playing time, Wright has also scored 8.0 pts/g. He’s the unheralded Shorts.

Colts WRs
Here’s what I said a couple of weeks ago: “Week 11 wasn’t great, and I’m not sure how much better Weeks 12-14 will be.” I’m also not sure how much better Weeks 15-16 will be.

Vikings WRs
Before the season started, what were the odds in Vegas that Cordarrelle Patterson would score a return TD and a rushing TD before a receiving TD? I should’ve taken that bet.

Rams WRs
Someone should tell Brian Schottenheimer that not every handoff to Tavon Austin can go for a long score. By the way, I’m beginning to fear that Stedman Bailey may be a slightly faster Vincent Brown. For a guy who I hoped would be a second-round pick, I hate that comparison.

Dolphins WRs
For the last two weeks Mike Wallace has been playing like A.J. Green, but something tells me that his return to Pittsburgh in Week 14 will result in some short-term “mean reversion.”

Jets WRs
In Week 13, Stephen Hill caught 1 pass on 4 targets for 2 yards. Given Weeks 11-12, that’s improvement.

Eagles WRs
In a week that saw Nick Foles throw 3 TDs, his WRs caught only 7 passes for 104 yards and no scores. It was as if the Ghost of Donovan McNabb descended from heaven like a wounded duck dove and came to rest on the shoulder of Foles’ throwing arm: This is McNabb’s metaphorical son, in whom Chip Kelly is well pleased. In the 2014 draft, the Eagles will draft some WRs.

Panthers WRs
The Panthers have won 8 games in a row, but their WR play has been shoddy. At some point this season or next, Marvin McNutt will get a chance to play. Get him in dynasty while you still can.

Patriots WRs
If I don’t want to start any of these guys, how can Tom Brady be expected to want to throw to them? Having said that, I think that Danny Amendola is becoming a nice buy-low target in dynasty.

Texans WRs
The Texans list Keshawn Martin as a WR. He isn’t.

Bills WRs
I don’t think Robert Woods is the answer.

Raiders WRs
Andre Holmes? He could be the answer. By the way, Denarius Moore is the Andre Ellington of WRs. Coincidentally, neither Moore nor Ellington played in Week 13.

Broncos WRs
Here’s what I said last week:

Two ways to think about what Wes Welker has done the last three weeks (4.1 standard pts/g): Either 1) he will soon revert back to his superior seasonal production, or 2) he is merely reverting (and will likely continue to revert) to his standard per-play career production. Here’s what I think: If you can trade Welker for Decker in dynasty leagues, you should.

Sometimes I have moments of real insight. What’s happening to Welker right now makes Jordy Nelson blush.

Packers WRs
One subpar week with Matt Flynn as QB shouldn’t affect how one perceives Jarrett Boykin’s long-term potential. He’s a straight-up “Rodgers play” and a decent dynasty trade target.

Lions WRs
The Eagles have perhaps the NFL’s worst secondary, and Calvin Johnson has just endured two straight weeks of the world forgetting that he’s the best WR alive. I think the over/under for his Week 14 standard point total in Philadelphia is 25. That game will be a shootout.

49ers WRs
For the last 3 weeks, Anquan Boldin has been on a 2005-06 Shaquille O’Neal type of roll, but in Week 14 he faces the Seahawks. Mean reversion will assert itself. Remember Week 2?

Chargers WRs
My biggest regret regarding the 2013 offseason is that I failed to recognize the extent to which Keenan Allen in fact did fit the criteria I have for drafting rookie WRs in dynasty.

Giants WRs
I don’t own Victor Cruz in any league this year. Perhaps relatedly, I’m going to the playoffs in all of my leagues. #Causation

Washington WRs
With his last touch in Week 13, Garcon literally handed the game to the Giants—and lost two points. If Garcon is anything more than your WR3 . . . you’re probably not in the playoffs.

Cowboys WRs
It’s hard to be disappointed by a top-10 WR campaign, but Dez Bryant’s 2013 has been a smidgen disappointing. Maybe I feel that way because I’m a Cowboys fan. Right now, however, I feel like Dirk Gordon has become the new Dez.

Steelers WRs
Antonio Brown is the Reggie Bush of WRs: WR2 floor. Top-5 WR ceiling. In Week 14, we saw the floor.

Side note: Is Jerricho Cotchery transforming himself into 2005-2010 Derrick Mason? I need another season to decide.

Ravens WRs
Only twice all season has Torrey Smith scored fewer than 7 points or more than 15 points. That might mean something for his playoff run against MIN, DET, and NE.

Saints WRs
In Weeks 10-11, Marques Colston averaged 12.35 pts/g. In Weeks 12-13? 3.35 pts/g. Starting this guy is just asking to lose your consolation bracket.

Seahawks WRs
In 2013, Doug Baldwin has the same number of TDs and more receiving yards than Golden Tate—on fewer targets. In 2014, Tate will be a free agent. You know what to do.

Chiefs WRs
A.J. Jenkins has 4 catches for 57 yards in the last two weeks. Somewhere Jon Moore sits silently reading a RotoViz article. Also, for the third week in a row, Fantasy Voldemort had a game that (for him) was better than dreadful, and the Chiefs lost—for the third week in a row: “For neither can live while the other survives.” You don’t f*ck with a fictional children’s-book-for-adults prophecy.

Falcons WRs
If you ask any half-literate muggle to name Shakespeare’s greatest play, Hamlet will be the response 97% of the time. It’s the one play about which the average person knows enough to fake a somewhat cogent conversation with another person faking the same conversation.

What is Hamlet about? Who the hell really knows, but it all starts with the Ghost of the Old King Hamlet, and so lots of historical interpretations depend heavily on specific readings of the Ghost, who first appears dressed in his armor and wearing a warlike visage. Whatever. All I know is this: Whenever the Atlanta Shakespeare Company next performs Hamlet, the Ghost better come out dressed as a football player and wearing Roddy White’s jersey. In Week 13, Roddy returned from the purgatorial land of the fantasy dead and cried, “Remember me!” We remember.

And Harry Douglas is Horatio—the last guy standing after everybody else has died.

Interested in RBs? Here’s my Week 13 RB Report.

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By Matthew Freedman | @MattFtheOracle | Archive

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